Own It

Well the word is starting to get out that we are Homeschooling. It is really touchy because you want to state your reasons without criticizing the public of private schools. But really, why am I stating reasons at all.  I feel like I have to defend or justify my decision not only to everyone else but also to myself. As I hear myself speak it seems very almost defensive, like I am gearing up for resistance and honestly no one has given me any.  Everyone has been so supportive and nice, so why do I feel like I have to explain everything.  I need to just Own it and move on. Make a decision and be confident and move forward. I should take this lesson from Sarah who is so cool with everything and so far has no doubts. I feel also like I am just waiting for the day when she says that she doesn't want to do it. How can she want to leave such a great place? Maybe it is not as great as I think it is. I shouldn't discount her school because I have been really happy there and If homeschooling doesn't work out, we would love to go back. Can we do that? I don't know.

Change the school or change the kid

Did I mention in this blog that Sarah has ADHD. Well, she does and apparently I was the last to know. She was diagnosed in third grade. The main advantage to being diagnosed is that she will get extra time on tests and hopefully receive a little more patience and understanding. I am still undecided if that is true. There are a lot of conflicting opinions on ADHD and how it affects learning and how to treat it. Doctors are all about medication, as are some teachers and you can certainly understand why.   Traditional school is more of a challenge for kids like Sarah as well as for most boys. So, we can medicate, which will make it easier for her to sit still and pay attention in her school as well as make her more agreeable to the teachers,  or we could keep Sarah just as she is and change they way she does school.  Sarah does not want to be medicated and believed me I have asked her...often. So maybe my decision is not a dilemma at all but just common sense.

Trial Run

Yesterday Sarah wanted to stay home from school for absolutely no reason at all. I relented because I secretly wanted to try our homeschooling. We began our day with bagels at Einsteins and started school at about 9 am.  I have to say from 9am until noon, she seemed very engaged. We worked on Language Arts, writing and Math. She is constant motion so we moved around the house a bit before finally settling into a spot in the Family room. At noon we ate lunch and at 12:30 we began Science.After science, I could tell I was losing her.  Her attention was definitely wavering. But Hey, I got 3 and a half good hours out of her of straight academic work which I think is more than I can say for school. At 1:15 we went to the YMCA to swim for about an hour and then it was off to Piano lessons. Overall a pretty good first Day! I asked Sarah how she thought the day went and she said "Perfect". I think that may be overstating it a little but I'll take it.

After we went to Piano, we went to Kumon for an assessment. This is not a true assessment because it took 30 minutes and they are trying to sell me a product. Well, no surprise they thought she should be well below grade level in math and reading.  I am a little skeptical but the Kumon way is rote memorization in a timed setting. This is not really the best way Sarah learns but I do think it has its' merit. Also, it is EXPENSIVE.

One challenge is for Sarah and I to carve out time away from each other. I noticed yesterday, it was a lot of togetherness which seemed to suit Sarah fine but I felt a little anxious. Sarah has a big personality and is very talkative and needs a lot of affirmation throughout the day.  I think school must be hard for her because she cannot move but I also think it may be good for her because it gives her structure. We will have to work through a routine that works for both of us and one that we can combine both structure and flexibility. Time will tell but I think we are on our way.

More resources

Everyday it seems I happen upon more and more resources for homeschooling. It may be information overload.  I find the program, text or workbook and then I read every possible review of it and then I put it in my shopping cart and then I don't buy it.  Maybe if materials start coming into the house it will seem too real and official. I did the first week lesson plan yesterday which took me about 3 hours. I am hoping it will get easier as I become less obsessive.  Thank god I have Sarah to keep me grounded. I keep telling her the negatives about homeschooling and she keeps countering me. Sometimes I am bored at school, I will still see my friends, I can learn more at my own pace and so on. I am looking in to buying a logic program but I think I might wait so I can catch up with her a little.   I did find the homeschool superstore which seems to have a huge selection of materials. I have to resist the temptation to go to Target everyday to buy pretty folders and sparkly pens.  Actually, I have already given in.they are sitting in my car.

telling firends

Sarah told her best friend Cassie that she was going to be homeschooled. I thought the little girl was going to cry. It felt like when I told Sarah about Santa. I guess I should tell the school now..... I am still so nervous or maybe anxious. We made our decision and feel like we have to at least try but I somehow feel worried still.  What if she can't maintain her friendships? What if I screw her up? I know this is something in which you just have to jump but what if the parachute doesn't open.  Each day this decision becomes more real.

Home sick again

Yesterday Sarah cam home sick from school today..lightheaded.  I think something else is going on. Only about three weeks left of school..then the real fun begins. Should we start homeschooling right away so we don't lose the momentum or should we take a break?   I am not sure how it will go but I still need to get ready.  I am so excited to begin seeing how Sarah learns and how far she can go.

second thoughts

Sarah went to Alter Server training tonight. I do love and appreciate that Sarah feels so connected to the Church and I am afraid she will lose that because I was unhappy with her teacher. I am afraid that I am not going to be able make this happen. Sarah has so much potential but she also has a unique personality that she will need to explore. What if what makes her happy is to watch TV and bounce around the house. What if she can't focus enough to learn with me? What if I get impatient or frustrated and make things worse? What if I can't follow through with the lessons or forget something?